WHY AM I HERE?
I was reading in Romans a few says ago, and thought about its author, Paul. I imagined how he, at an early age, perhaps less than 10 years old, made the hazardous trip from Tarsus, a Roman enclave, to Jerusalem, some 1,000 km overland. To be more exact: from mid Turkey through Syria – on the way wondering and questioning and learning – and then on to Jerusalem, all part of the Roman Empire.
In these three countries Roman’s mighty legions had constructed safe highways. Still, a 1,000 km trek, was, in those days, quite a venture, by foot, I imagine, staying in caravanserais each night, traveling for weeks on end: and that as a young teenager: it took a special youngster to undertake such a journey. Bu then, Paul was an exceptional person!
I speculate Paul was the son of well-off and devout parents, who probably had guaranteed safe passage with a Roman convoy, as the family were Roman citizens. All along the trek to the Holy City, sacred Jeru-Salem, he dreamed of glory, dreamed of discovering God’s Greatness. He had inherited his parents’ piety, their devotion, their daily reciting of the laws given to Moses, and drilled into him every day. Paul, himself, had early in life, not only become devout, but fanatically so.
Ever seen fanaticism displayed? I have. The university prep school I attended in the 1940’s in Groningen, the Netherlands, was also a religious battleground. The city had 4 large “Reformed” churches, each with at least 1,000 members. A dogmatic dispute in 1943, during the German Occupation, about an issue, now long forgotten, caused 2 churches to secede, dividing families, and leaving a mark also in my school, attended by the fanatic sons of the clergy, creating hatred and hostility. Paul, in his zeal for the ‘right’ way of life, also suffered from this overzealous sentiment. It took a special intervention by Jesus himself, to cure Paul of his fanaticism, and substituting it with Love.
Jesus needed this man: Christianity needed this man. We, today need this man, the missionary man, who wrote the letter to the Romans, and to us. This amazing man, this former fanatic, who welcomed the stoning of Stephanus, the gifted evangelist, who hated the early Christians the way I have seen it at my Christian school where some students refused to attend morning devotions when conducted by ‘the other side’.
Just as Paul, I too was sent to a special place of learning. My parents, too, had great expectations, especially as I, from early on, had wanted to become a missionary, go to the Netherlands Indies, and convert the heathens there. However, upon graduation, I was drafted into the Dutch army, the country being engaged in a colonial dispute. I then chose Canada, instead, upon completion of my national duty.
Back to Paul.
So, just like Paul, just as any and every Christian, I have a task in life, a task to be a witness. I mentioned Paul’s conversion. I too have such a sudden experience. Just growing up in a Christian family, school, church, does prepare the soil, gives a good start, but can also be dangerous, as ‘faith’ becomes a routine matter, and being a member of a church a birthright.
In my youth staying with ‘the faith of the fathers’ was an automatic matter. With little or no mobility, the path to ‘heaven’ was paved with historic beliefs, clung to with tenacious tentacles, unquestioned.
My conversion, however, was a different matter. I can pinpoint it precisely: the summer of 1973, age 45. Two books did the miracle for me, one questioning the “Heaven” destination, the other the impossibility of ‘perpetual economic growth’. Both drastically changed my entire view on life and eternity.
How then shall we live? Or more accutely: How shall I live? Just stay on the path that has been the way with most people? Don’t upset the routine? Just
grow old and die?
That describes life for most of us in the Western world. A life quite uncomplicated, but the question remains whether a life such as that has any merit at all.
Why am I here?
Life in my grandparents’ time occurred in slow motion and was often hard and difficult, but the final product showed the individual’s talents and hallmark. Compare this to the millions of workers today who are stuck in routine jobs.
The question is: What is the meaning of such a life? What
should such a person feel about his life when reached the
end of days? What has he or she accomplished? What was the
contribution to the world? Will AI now destroy even that?
I increasingly believe that I am called to prepare myself for life -LIFE- in eternity. Jesus defined it quite simply: “I have come to bring ‘life’, and that to the full”.
,
Paul pinpoints it precisely in Romans 1: 20: “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities–his eternal power and divine nature–have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.”
Why am I here?
I try to pay heed to Paul, the pious and persistent Paul, converted from religious fanaticism to creation-caregiver: for me he has pointed the Way: I am here to prepare myself for a creation-caring life, as our destination is God’s renewed creation.
I try to live that way today.